looking back at the past

I find myself with a few spare minutes this fine muggy night to sit with my headphones on listen to whatever comes up on itunes and think back on the past few years. i look back thinking what would i have done differently...Was it REALLY the good ole days or like so many other things in my life is time simply blurring the edges. Smoothing out the rough spots and blanketing my mind in a fairly pleasant and tasty fog. Tempting though it may be to leave it there I find myself pushed to dig deeper through all of the varied experiences that i have had and see if i am anywhere near the target i had set up for myself when i was 18 years old and "on top of the world". I find myself forced to admit, that i am not. i thought being "all grown up" would be full of adventures, and excitement around every corner. Christmas come early every day of the year and that money simply appeared in your wallet or out on the proverbial tree out back. i have come to learn that consequences are always involved in every aspect of every day. the food we eat the clothes we wear and in some of our cases the uniforms we put on. who knew?  Looking back i do find one common thing with all of the actual wonderful moments of my life. well two things actually. great things take effort. and the greatest things are worth the effort. if only i could have caught onto that sooner. it is amazing the simple things that escape notice in the daily hustle and bustle that we call life. i find myself  unsure where this is going or where it will end but i find myself ready for bed to prepare for another day in this battle we call life. Some people dream of success while others wake up and work at it. i am ready for a new day.